Aug
“Well, Kind Man, the devil is in the details… and in the caveats… and certainly in the fine print for companies offering lifetime warranty on vaporizers. Don’t you agree?”
This is an email we got from a subscriber to The Kind Pen newsletter where we foist the ludicrous ravings of a madman – The Kind Man – onto our fans & customers (you can register here).
I wrote a loving – but scathing – response to that, which completely disagrees with the premise of ‘lifetime warranties’ trying to hoodwink the customer, but then it dawned on me – why not turn that into a blog post?
I’m sure plenty of people have questions about The Kind Pen’s no-questions-asked warranty policy. Some – maybe even you? – might be skeptical about it.
So let’s put that skepticism to rest once and for all.
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3 Weird Questions About Our Lifetime Warranty on Vaporizers… & My Not-Weird Answers
Let’s first clarify our unlimited lifetime warranty on vapes, vaporizers, and batteries.
It’s UNLIMITED.
It’s LIFETIME. So your lifetime… not the device’s lifetime.
It’s 100% yours – on every device except EZ Pipe, carts, atomizers, and tiny parts – EVEN IF YOU SMASH THE THING AGAINST THE WALL… RUN IT OVER WITH YOUR CAR… OR ‘ACCIDENTALLY’ WASH IT 10 TIMES IN A ROW.
I know… it’s controversial. But that’s what ‘unlimited lifetime’ means to me.
Of course, there’s a tiny caveat here. You have to register your vape or dab e-rig device (you can do that here) by using the scratch off QR code you get on the box. And you have to pay a handling/shipping fee when you activate your warranty to get a replacement.
Most of the members of The Kind Pen tribe of vapers are happy with this arrangement.
But…
I still get some questions about how it works. Or skepticism as to why I’m doing it. Or straight up rudeness with people assuming I won’t honor my end of the deal.
Here’s the first question…
Q #1 “Why Are You Giving Lifetime Warranty on Vapes & Your Competitors Don’t?”
Beats me.
I can only assume that they’re not good at doing business. And that’s just a bonus for The Kind Pen. As long as they seem unwilling & unable to stand behind their products, we’ll keep sweeping the floor with them.
Kidding aside, though – it’s because they’re engaged in transactional business model. At The Kind Pen, we’re more into relationship-building model.
I’ve long ago figured out that this lifetime warranty isn’t about replacing parts… it’s about building a connection.
I want The Kind Pen your go-to vape brand for life. We’re not looking for a one-vape stand; we’re in this for the long haul. And that’s why we’re willing to put our money where our mouthpiece is. We don’t just want to sell you a product; we want to offer you peace of mind. Knowing that we’ve got your back—no matter what—means you can enjoy every puff without a worry in the world.
Also…
I’ve got confidence—like, sky-high, over-the-moon, Kanye-level confidence—in the quality of our products. Our engineering team is like the Avengers of Vaping. They’ve got the chops to design vape gear that not just meets, but smashes, all the quality benchmarks.
It’s not just a device; it’s a Kind Pen.
[Also, not true that there are no other vape device manufacturers offering a lifetime warranty. There are. But their warranties are usually limited – and so convoluted – you’d rather buy a new device than go through the process.]
Q #2 “Why Do I Have to Pay Shipping & Handling if It’s a Lifetime Warranty?”
I don’t get this one often, but I do get why it crops up occasionally.
First off, let’s put things into perspective.
You’re getting a brand-new replacement for your Kind Pen device—and that’s on us, 100%. In a world where electronics often become expensive paperweights the moment they break, I’m giving you a forever fix. The device, the craftsmanship, the love that goes into making it your perfect puff companion—it’s all covered.
And I’ll be 100% honest here – offering a lifetime warranty is already a big financial commitment for us. The shipping and handling fees help us maintain this ambitious program without cutting corners on quality or customer service. It’s what keeps the warranty sustainable and fair for everyone involved.
I know it’s not the “everything’s on us” dream, but it’s a close second.
For anything that’s between $20 to $50, you’ll pay around $8 for a replacement. And if you order a $200-worth device, the replacement is around $40. Which means you can grab 5 of them… and only then would you be paying in full for one.
Now contrast that against companies that give you limited warranty, jerk you around, and then you still end up FULLY paying for the replacement.
I think it’s a good deal, don’t you?
Q #3 “Your Vapes Must Be Poor Quality If You Offer a Lifetime Warranty, Right?”
Weeeell… if we wanted to go bankrupt, I guess we could do that?!
But I guess that teeny, tiny line about occasional DOA (Dead on Arrival) products caught your eye, huh?
You’re probably wondering, “If they’re so sure about quality, why does this happen?” Fantastic question, so let’s talk about it.
Much like Marvel occasionally putting out a crappy movie (Thor: The Dark World? Anyone?), so we occasionally get – and pass on – a DOA device.
It’s the nature of the beast, really. Electronics, you know?
The key takeaway here is how we handle such situations.
If you receive a DOA device, we don’t just say “sorry”—we make it right, ASAP. We rush a replacement to your doorstep faster than you can say “vape-tastic.”
That’s The Kind Pen promise.
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It’s all about balance, friends. The DOA rate is exceedingly low compared to the stellar performance and durability of our devices. It’s like finding a pebble on a beach of golden sand.
The integrity and dependability of our vapes are what have allowed me to confidently offer a lifetime warranty for TEN long years!
And I’ll stand behind these devices – with my mouth AND my wallet – for as long as I breathe!
